WOMEN IN A MAN'S WORLD

    I am a feminist; supporting women who are trying to make something great of themselves makes me feel like I am contributing to the advancement of women in every field. I encourage you to do the same. From my experience I still feel like it is a man's world despite all the necessary attention that is being shed onto the girl child. The policies coming up that are inclusive of women have shown the world the importance of empowering women. My focus today is especially on women working in male dominated fields but, this is a problem that pervades in all sorts of different environments.

   It can be rather intimidating working alongside men, you feel the need to constantly prove yourself because there is pressure to perform. Making your way to the top without having to compromise on your dignity because of the prevalent objectification of women that clearly exists, is more arduous than it sounds. Saying no to unrelenting unwanted advances in the workplace or any other place for that matter can be seen as being conceited which can make your male colleague change his behavior towards you. It is strenuous for women in hyper-masculine environments to find a balance of neither being seen as yielding or too harsh. I am not saying that this is the only dynamic that happens but it happens so it should be addressed.

   Just to show you an instance demonstrating the gravity of the situation, the results of a survey called 'Elephant in the Valley' were released earlier this year. The survey was conducted on women that work in Silicon Valley and those living around the area and it focused on finding out the challenges that women face in their work place. These were mostly women in tech and venture capitalists. It was found that 60% of women acknowledged that they had faced sexual harassment in their workplace. There were other issues addressed but I wanted to focus on this specific statistic (www.elephantinthevalley.com). I believe such statistics can be reported in other fields as well and this makes me feel unsettled.

 
Well, my advice to you is to not condone such behavior, ever. You are doing yourself an injustice by ignoring and not standing up for yourself in a situation where you feel condescended upon. Surprisingly, most men are oblivious of what us women go through in such a workplace and it is upon us to bring awareness with regards to the issue. Courage to say no will do you great in your life. Don't be a victim if it can be avoided and if it can't, take the matter up to someone with the power to stop what is happening to you. You have the power to demand mutual respect. The essence of being a woman is something special and should be valued by everyone. It's time for you to see that, more so, it's time for the world to see that.

PERCEPTION MATTERS

   Ever felt stuck in a place, a place that drains you of your energy, a place that you keep running away from but always ending up at the same spot? Most of us won't admit it but we have those faults in us that we try to cover up in a carefully crafted veneer hiding from the truth. You need to accept yourself for who you are, for you to be able to accept the person that you want to become. The truth will always catch up with you, remember that. It is far better to initiate the changes within ourselves for us to move forward with life. You are not being fair to yourself revolving around the same spot that took you nowhere in the past. Time is moving, you better move along with it or all you will end up with is regret. Part of the reason why we end getting stuck in a rut is the perception of what needs change. We have become perfectionists, wanting our lives to seem a certain way to other people that we forget that it is okay for us to lose a bit of control in our lives. Relax, take a breather. It is never as bad as it seems. You can look at people and think they have it all together yet underneath the facade they are ordinary people with the same problems as you. Once you realize that what you should be focusing on is what is within you, the fear of change dissipates.

   I have noticed that we have become intent on observing what is in our external reality to reflect what we want to manifest in our lives. Everything that is in our external world is as a result of people's thoughts that have come into existence. Your external circumstances should not dictate who you are, instead seek to nurture what is within as this is the starting point of all that comes into actuality. Put the world in perspective and it will never take control over you. How you perceive the world has a heavy bearing on the person that you will become. Ask yourself, "Would I want to place myself in the constraints of my own thinking?" If your answer is no, you need to change often. This is the only way that you will set a motion of constant growth within your life.

    Who moved my cheese? :An Amazing way to Deal with Change by Dr. Spencer Johnson was one of my most interesting reads. It focuses primarily on change but the author uses a simple and in my opinion quite a funny way to convey that message. I almost dismissed the book because of its simplicity but I got compelled to finish it because I have realized I needed to read something light for a change. I suggest you read it too if you are someone like me who can end up being too hard on themselves at times. The quotes in the book keep lingering in my mind when I face moments of self doubt and resistance. You can never go wrong having a reference point for wisdom when times get tough. This was my favorite quote:
       
                            "If You Do Not Change, You Can Become Extinct" 

REALITY CHECK PART 1

     This is a series where I will be shedding light on the crucial issues that are existent in the world and the ones that have a major impact on life as we know it. I think we have become accustomed to living in a bubble, closed off from the real world that we forget what is truly of importance. We come across endless information from the media and most of it is just utter nonsense if you come to think of it. The media mostly gives the audience what it asks for because this is linked to ratings and ratings are linked to paychecks. In this age of media conglomeration money talks and it is becoming more evident that preeminent issues that can change the world are not being given the attention that they deserve. What has this lead to? Ignorance. I want to change the way you view the world and the only way for me to achieve this is by telling you what you should be focusing on to change your perspective on things.

     It is becoming increasingly alarming at the rate at which we are depleting our water sources. Global warming is catching up with us and it is inevitably going to end water if we do not come up with sustainable solutions. Water is the most vital resource that exists. Our bodies are made up of over 60% water, producing energy requires water, cooling our atmosphere requires water, producing the meat that the world consumes requires water, agriculture requires water...I can go on and on about the uses of water, the list is endless. It is devastating to know that the most valuable resource that we have as humanity is the least treasured and the most misused. It is evident that the world has started experiencing the effects of global warming. Hurricanes in Florida have wiped out towns and killed hundreds of people, flooding in India, Bangladesh and other South Asian countries has also resulted in the same fate. The wildfires in Australia caused by an increase in temperatures have destroyed lush forests and have resulted in massive loss of wealth, recurring drought in Russia has caused parts of the country to declare a state of emergency. The increasing examples of such catastrophes are becoming increasingly worrying.

    It scares me looking at the bigger picture. The ice in Antarctica and Greenland is gradually melting resulting in the region losing about 70 kilometers of ice per year. The ice contained in this region accounts for most of the fresh water in the world. The melting of the ice is causing an increase in sea level which screams disaster for flat countries. Bangladesh has a low lying coast which is gradually being submerged due to the rise in sea levels. According to predictions, in a century, this might lead to more than 30 million people being displaced from their homes. That number is nerve wracking. Where these people are going to go? Nobody knows.

    We need to start taking responsibility of what is going on in the world. It is our own doing. In this age of capitalism we forget that we are suffocating our world gradually. The increase in greenhouse emissions, excessive use of fossil fuels, improper garbage disposal, these are all man made problems in the race to make more money. Incessant greed and ignorance will be the end of us unless we change the story. Just as there exists oil disputes across the world, nations will start to collide because of inadequate water. Think about it. It is already happening, look at the disputes that occurred along the Nile Valley or the ones occurring in parts of Asia for example between India and Bangladesh over The Ganges, it is also happening in the Middle East and South America. We need change and we need it fast. The responsibility to take care of the posterity is with us. Now that you are aware, what is it that you can do to help better the situation? That is the question.

PLEASURE OF SOLITUDE

     The thing I have come to value the most in life is my alone time. Being alone and being lonely are two ends of a spectrum. We tend to seek people to share our time with, afraid of feeling lonely and we end up depriving ourselves of the time to get to know who we are more intently. The risk of not giving yourself enough alone time is that you are exposing yourself more to outwardly influences, which creep in into our lives and cause a disturbance in our peaceful state of mind. Most people are so concerned about finding people who will fill their empty shell of loneliness but they forget it all begins from within. In order not to feel lonely we must love being with ourselves. Start focusing on your personal growth to strengthen your sense of self. We may not truly know who we are but we know who we think we are.

     Turn yourself into a person with depth. Learn yourself and from that, get to know which parts of yourself need to change. It is not unusual to be oblivious of your shortcomings when you do not take time to center your mind and find your true self. I have found that meditation is ideal in finding inner peace.  Disconnecting from the world relieves us of the pressure of what is expected of us by other people. Do not be afraid to detach yourself from people who persistently drag you into their problems. You do not owe them anything, distance yourself for the greater good. Some of us are stuck trying to help other people with their issues that we forget to pay attention to ourselves. Slowly you start to lose your identity and that ends up breaking you. Centering yourself in the midst of chaos will be the true test of your self awareness. It is not an easy road trying to be who you are in a world that is constantly pressuring us to be someone else. Once you start to become conscious of who you are, growth becomes imminent. You will start to value your time and people who have your best interests in mind.

      I have found that getting away out of town to a serene environment is my favorite thing to do to unwind and re-evaluate my life. I love going to places I have never been before. It gets my mind off all the seriousness in my life. I believe we were born to enjoy this conscious awareness experience we call life and discover our full potential. This can only be achieved if we are comfortable with who we are. It is a journey, be aware that you are on that journey and the only way that you will to go is forward, towards abundance. This time round I explored a resort in Thika, Kenya called Ol donyo Sapuk Resort. It is set at the foot of Mt. Kilimambogo; the scenery was surreal and one which you might consider going to experience. The video gives you a preview of the experience. Enjoy. 

TRUST HAS TO BE EARNED

   You have got to be vigilant about the people you let into your life. Not everyone you share your dreams and goals with will want what is best for you. You need to start evaluating your friends to determine who actually has your best interest. When your circle of friends starts to reduce, maturity starts to kick in. You start to value quality over quantity. That is the way to ensure that the people who are closest to you are the people who you share the same values and goals with. People that will push you to greatness are hard to come by. When you find them, keep them close. It is human nature to want to share your dreams and aspirations with other people. At times we get too excited with what is going on in our lives that we blubber out all your future plans to anybody who will listen to you. This is dangerous. We need to practice a certain level of restraint when it comes to sharing what is important to us. 90% of the time the people that we associate with do not want us to succeed. Some are jealous, others don't want you to progress more than them, others just don't care. Learn how to read people basing it on your interactions with them. 

   Good energy and bad energy do not mix. The more you tell the wrong people about your future plans and private life, the more that positive energy will dissipate into oblivion. You block yourself from progress. Be mindful that the more information you give to people the more likely that that information will be used against you at the worst possible time. Knowing who can and cannot be trusted is crucial and it is an intuition that you need to perfect. Trust is one of the hardest things to rebuild once it is broken. Do not put yourself in a situation where you set yourself up for disappointment. For you to find the right people to trust, you need to be trustworthy yourself. Don't expect people to give you something that you cannot give back. If you ever feel that you are starting to doubt someone's trustworthiness, pay close attention to their actions. People often reveal their true nature unconsciously through what they do. The actions will tell you everything that you need to know. Relationships, partnerships and friendships can't work if there is no trust. 

   You do not owe everyone your full honesty when it comes to what you do in private. This does not mean that you keep everything bottled up inside you. Good people exist and those are the people that you should be attracting into your life. They are quite few.  If you cannot trust someone trust your gut, it is your gift from God. From experience, some of the best moments in life are the ones  you can't tell anyone about. 

ALIVE OR JUST BREATHING?

    As I am writing this, I am in an ecstatic mood. Ever since I had my spiritual awakening realizing that there is so much more to life than our current state of reality, happiness has been like a shadow following me everywhere I go. We tend to get caught up with what is happening to us instead on focusing on how to respond to all these experiences that we get bombarded with in our daily lives. All the posts that I have written so far have been an evaluation of the experiences that I have and still going through and this post is not an exception. I have gone through plenty of challenges over these past few couple of months and at times I felt so low that it was affecting my whole well being. It is the things and people that we love dearly that can hurt us the most. I felt like I had been pushed to the wall and as if there was only one way out of my predicament and that was to accept defeat. I had to step back and look at the bigger picture and once I did that, I experienced a paradigm shift. I have realized there is no point of stressing over our current negative situations because it makes us live in the past hindering progress.

    In life you either win or learn. Detach yourself from failure and look at it as an opportunity to know how to do things right the next time. Resistance is part of success. After changing my perception about my reality I had to reset my mind to accommodate all that I had learnt to prepare myself for my next battle. What better way to free your mind than a weekend getaway with amazing friends to a place so surreal as the Great Rift Valley Lodge! The friends that you keep are either going to build you or break you. At your worst, you will need friends to help you lift the weight off; choose them wisely. I live for new experiences and heading to Naivasha, where the lodge is located, was an incredible idea. Being away from the city life unclogs your mind and brings you mental clarity. The ambiance of the lodge was warm and it felt like a home away from home. My mind was only focused on enjoying myself and forming stronger bonds with my friends. It made my challenges feel really small and not as important as I had perceived them to be. In fact, I am glad that I went through the low moments because it made me appreciate what is most valuable in life which is making stronger connections with people I love and seeing what the world has to offer in terms of its natural beauty. I live to travel and I want to inspire you to want to see the world as badly as I want to. Life was not meant to be lived in the same place. I made a short clip to show you some snapshots of the weekend getaway and maybe you could visit the place and have an unforgettable time too. Life is too exciting to not be experienced.

BREAKTHROUGH

    There will always come a time when you are at your lowest. Everything seems to be going wrong and you don't know what to do. Hopelessness starts to creep in. You start to feel like a failure. You start to make comparisons between you and the people around you. Comparison only makes what you are feeling worse. You feel like your goal is so close yet so far away. Frustration consumes you; it gets to you that you are the problem. No matter how hard you try, you end up at the start of it all; with nothing. Is this how you feel right now? Let me tell you what to do...don't panic! A lot of the pain we are dealing with are really only our thoughts. 

     You know that failure is a part of success. In my previous posts I have told you to view failure as 

opportunity. How you choose to deal with your failures defines your character. Never giving up is easier said than done but once you start to cultivate that culture within you, there is nothing that will break you. Most of the success stories you know speak of people who have overcome great obstacles in order to be where they are now. Resilience and persistence for a successful person are must have qualities to progress in this world. If success was easy, everybody would be successful; but that isn't the case now, is it? It might feel that there is no way to move forward when you've hit rock bottom but there is always a way, you just need to look carefully enough to find it. Our worries and disappointments cloud our judgement and it becomes harder to find a solution to a problem when our minds are racing through all the things that we have done wrong. For you to progress and make the changes that you ought to make, you have to clear your mind of any thoughts that are not in alignment with your goals. 

     When you are at an ultimate low that is when you are about to have a breakthrough. If you are the type of person to give up easily, you will never get to enjoy the results of your hard work. How do you know that you are going through a breakthrough? You will start to face opposition from the people around you. People will start to question what you do and how you do it. Most people start to second guess themselves after a few negative comments from the people they trust. Block out the pointless criticism and focus on the bigger picture.It is usual to lose friends during such a time; not everyone will see eye to eye with you. During a breakthrough you will also start to question yourself. This usually comes from fear. Don't be afraid of your dreams; when your dreams don't scare you they are not big enough. Your end goal is achievable, believe that. We were all blessed with intuition; when you feel that what you are doing is what will push you further ahead in life then do not fret when you are confronted with opposition. Trust yourself. You know great things are coming when everything seems to be going wrong. Old energy is clearing out for new energy to enter. Be patient. It is always at our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.